


Akatsuki Drabbles

by Sharkseye



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Drabble Collection, Gen, Hidan (Naruto) Swears, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 01:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharkseye/pseuds/Sharkseye
Summary: Ongoing various drabbles about the lives of the Akatsuki.  Unconnected unless otherwise noted.More info on taking prompts in end notes.





	Akatsuki Drabbles

**Author's Note:**

> Every so often I’ll come up with/across an idea about the Akasuki that I just have to write. It's great, I love it, I've got it hashed out, and, nothing happens. I don't write it, forget the parts I liked, and am sad. So! To fix this I’ve decided to just put them all here. And naturally, after spending part of my day working on one of my long fics and getting sidetracked, I started that resolution by writing my first ever crack fic, because of course I did. No redeeming qualities in this first drabble.
> 
> Info on me taking prompts in the end notes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This drabble is based off a drawing I saw on pinterest, found [here](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/695032154969832440/). If anyone knows the origin, author, whatever, please let me know so I can give credit   
> Originally this was going to go a whole different direction, but well, Kakuzu got pissed off with Hidan before the story even started, and this is the result. 
> 
> Itachi and Konan encounter attire too pure for this world. Definitely too pure for Hidan.

“Hidan-san, is that a new jacket?” 

Hidan turned to Itachi with a maniacal grin, completely discarding whatever Kakuzu had been saying and ignoring his irritated growl.  “Fuck no!  It’s from before I joined the rest of you assholes.  Thought I’d lost it.”

“It doesn’t fit the required attire while not undercover.”  Kakuzu said with all the anger of someone explaining something for the thousandth time, unconcealed violence in his tone drawing Hidan’s attention back like a bee to honey.  “If you’ve lost or damaged your standard Akatsuki cloak, you will pay to replace it.”

“I ain’t damaged my fucking cloak!  Not my fault that little bastard lit me on fire.”  Hidan shouted back, “Besides, this thing is actually comfortable.  The last cloak I got from you felt like fucking burlap.”

Kakuzu responded with equal vitriol, but Itachi found his attention caught elsewhere.  Now that Hidan mentioned it, he did recognize the coat.  Or, at least, he remembered that Hidan had been wearing a similar one when they’d met years before.  Not the same one though.  It couldn’t be the same one.  That one Itachi had only noticed peripherally in assessment, discarding the details beyond what was important as a potential threat.  This jacket, this jacket was very different. 

The body was thick and well fitted, the non-colour pleasant and unassuming, but all of that was nothing compared to the fur ringing the collar.  It was, in a word, magnificent.  Absolutely incredible.  Pure white, long, delicate fur, spilling down over Hidan’s shoulders and reaching up to the sky, a perfectly even spread of the fine hairs.  It looked like a cloud remade into the fur of an animal, and Itachi almost wanted to look away at the idea that such a creature existed.  It must be a walking ball of fluff, a piece of the sky given flesh.  No, this couldn't have been the same coat.  There was no way Itachi would’ve forgotten a fur this soft.  

“Itachi, you were, ah, saying?”  Konan’s somewhat distracted voice tapped at the edges of Itachi’s own distraction, but he couldn’t quite remember what he had been saying.  They’d been discussing a new contract that had come through, and he’d had concerns about the request not quite matching up with the items they were to have, but, it just seemed so unimportant in the face of this unbelievable treasure.  This awesome amount of fluff.

“Ah, yes, my apologies.”  Itachi said, attempting to pry his mind back into some sort of order. “Myself and Kisame should have little trouble meeting the requirements of the clients, however.  However,” There had been something that hadn’t added up, and it wasn’t the distance between Itachi and the fluff, nor the shouting match Hidan and Kakuzu were indulging in.  “I was, somewhat confused,” So, so fluffy.  Where had Hidan gotten it?  Could they retrieve more of these animals?  “About the resources, we were allotted.  What purpose does the carriage serve, given…”  The way the fur moved as Hidan postured, it just looked so comfortable, like he could sink his face into it and all his cares would drown away. What had he been saying?  “The type, of stealth.  Needed.” 

Whatever was required to gain the creature that had graced them all with this fur, surely it would be worth it.  Just looking at the collar made Itachi feel like his lungs were clear and his eyes as sharp as they’d been when he’d first gained his sharingan.  Surely that meant that the argument of the necessity of such an animal could be put under health reasons.  Kakuzu wouldn’t like it, but if Nagato saw this fur, he would agree.

“It does seem strange.”  Konan agreed, still sounding curiously distracted herself.  “With no need for a disguise we questioned that as well, and it seems to be a.  There seems to, be a, a rival family…“  She trailed of, and Itachi barely noticed, mesmerized as he was.  “How can this exist?  It’s just, so fluffy.”

“It is.”  Itachi agreed absentmindedly.  Likely Hidan wouldn’t even notice if Itachi were to sink his hands into it.  With the amount of pure downy goodness there was, he could disappear into it and no one would be any the wiser.

“Imagine a full blanket made out of it, nothing but miles of softness.”  Konan mused dreamily.  “Or imagine the animal it came from.  I bet Nagato would love to have one as a present."  They stared in rapt silence for a few moments, then she added,  "We could get him one, and maybe a couple for the base.  Wouldn't take long, they're probably from somewhere near Iwa.”

Itachi hummed thoughtfully.  “Kumo has very cold weather as well, though hopefully not.  Either way, it shouldn’t be too hard to create the environment necessary for such a creature to survive here.”

Konan conceded with a return hum, then asked, “Do you think he’ll notice if- Oh.” She cut herself off, letting out a hurt noise echoed by Itachi as the fur, and Hidan along with it, went sailing across the room, flipping with the violent shinobi as he yelled at Kakuzu and brandished his scythe.

“That was close.”  Konan said worriedly, and Itachi, eyeing the rough stone walls, couldn’t help but agree. 

“We should ensure its safety.”  Itachi said, taking in the suddenly numerous threats to the fur, already planning on how to remove it from the danger brought on by virtue of Hidan being Hidan. 

“The jacket's too attached to remove easily, we’ll have to take Hidan as well.” Konan agreed, smoothly ducking out of the way of a chunk of rock the size of her head, which had, until recently, been acting as a piece of the wall.  “Evidentially neither of them appreciate it as much as it deserves, we can’t trust them not to harm it.”

The time it was Itachi’s turn to move, taking a temporary step back to avoid the arm Kakuzu had flung across the room.  “I can put Kakuzu under a genjutsu while you subdue Hidan.” 

“Agreed.”  Konan nodded decisively and with that, they leapt into motion. 

It wasn’t easy to take his eyes off that gleaming white fur, but it was necessary, and Itachi swore it wouldn’t be for long.   Paper burst from Konan in the same moment Itachi shot forward, ducking a wayward swing from Hidan and batting aside one of Kakuzu’s masks. 

Surprised by the unexpected interference when the shinobi and his partner were usually allowed to continue their destruction until Kakuzu deemed it too expensive, Kakuzu looked directly at Itachi, quickly falling under the Tsukuyomi for his mistake.  It would’ve never been so easy out in the field, but here at the Akatsuki home base they were all guilty of letting themselves relax.

Perhaps it would’ve been more deserving to leave him in a darker genjutsu, but despite all that had brought him here and all that he’d be forced to do in the future, Itachi had never had the taste for that kind of thing.  Instead he gave Kakuzu a world he wouldn’t fight, one full of all the riches he could want.  It would make things more peaceful while he and Konan approached the fur, anyways. 

Despite the short time the mangekyō had been active, Itachi stumbled back a step when he released it, one hand rising to cover his eyes as he let himself breathe, waiting for the backlash.  Thankfully no cough wracked his chest, but he could feel his eyes tearing up, not enough to fall, but enough that his sclera would be stained red. 

Ignoring the downed Kakuzu as his strings slowly retracted back into his body, Itachi searched his pockets with his free hand, pulling out what had once been a light white cloth, now stained pink despite many washings.  Dabbing at his eyes and the area around them, he frowned down at the newest red stains before deeming himself at an acceptable level of cleanliness for the awaiting fluff he intended to bury his face in.  Barely a few drops this time, but that didn’t make it any less aggravating.  Or deserved.

Loud shouting cut off, and Itachi turned to find Hidan in the process of being gagged, near fully wrapped in paper bonds, his scythe on the floor nearby.  Konan ignored the fierce glare and thrashing as she strengthened the bonds, then stepped back, looking over her work. 

“It’s even more magnificent up close.”  She whispered, and Itachi realized he’d guessed wrong as to what she’d been admiring.  He couldn’t blame her.  Even with the recent violence Hidan ad subjected it to, the fur was beautiful. 

Stepping closer, Itachi let himself join in the admiration.  His vision wasn’t gone enough that something so close was blurry, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate being nearer to the absolute finery wrapped casually around Hidan’s neck. 

“There’s so much fluff.”  He said in awe.  It was almost too much, so pristine he didn’t want to ruin it with physical touch, despite how very much he did.

“Can, do you think we should?”  Konan asked, circling Hidan, reaching out so her fingertips just barely missed brushing the angrily vibrating fluff.  “Maybe, arranged so we can sit on either side.”

Konan’s papers were already moving as Itachi nodded, shifting Hidan around until he was in seiza facing them.  Perfect.  Hidan’s normal manner of sitting simply didn’t appreciate the splendour lining his jacket. 

Taking his place at Hidan’s right in seiza, Konan mirrored him on the other side of the weakly thrashing shinobi, and for a moment, Itachi just breathed.  Letting his awareness of the room fade to background noise, he focused completely on the fur.  Long white fur that swayed gently in front of him, tantalizing, and promising a rest unlike any other.  Promising an end to the struggles of life, where all past deeds could be forgotten in favor of nothing but softness. 

Reaching out to touch, Itachi hesitated, then drew back.  No, if he was going to do this, he would do it right. 

Arranging his hands neatly in his lap, Itachi relaxed, waiting until he was near meditation calmness to move.  Then, with all the respect this incredible fur deserved, he slowly leaned forward. 

And into a world of bliss.

**Author's Note:**

> Basic Prompt Info: I want to write more and get practice at writing semi-frequently, so alongside my own ideas, I will be taking Akatsuki prompts if anyone has them and wishes for me to write them. Their interactions, everyday lives, reactions to specific moments, serious prompts, fluffy prompts, whatever. That being said, I'm still working on the writing speed thing as well as a few long fics and the second chapter to 'A Soft Green Glow', so this does not mean I promise to use/write your prompt. Sometimes my brain just can’t work out how to write it, I don’t have time, it goes so far against my own headcanons that I can’t, etc. Sorry. On this note, given that I don’t know if anyone’s going to take me up on this, I’m not taking the time to put down any real characterization/shipping guidelines. However unlikely, if it does turn into a thing I will be adding some. For now, the only solid requirement is that prompts are centered on the Akatsuki. And if you do give a prompt, can you say something else too? Like a comment on a drabble, critique of my writing style, something? Please?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
